“How Much ____ Are You Willing to Tolerate?” (Fill in the blank!!!)

Do you let people say or do things that hurt you—without standing up for yourself?

If you’re a sensitive, introverted, or socially anxious person, you’re probably used to keeping the peace.
You stay quiet to avoid conflict.
You tell yourself it’s not worth the drama.
You wonder if maybe you’re just overreacting.

I understand. I’ve lived it.

As a child, I didn’t speak up.
I let people walk over me—not because I didn’t care, but because I was scared.
Scared to make things worse. Scared to lose connection. Scared of rejection.

One of the wisest things my late mother told me was:
“Speak up, or be left behind.”
It took me years to understand what that really meant.
When I finally did, I realized that every time I stayed silent, I was abandoning myself.

Another very important lesson that I’ve learned is that you have to respond to inappropriate behavior right away. If you let it go, you will only embolden the perpetrator, and the behavior may escalate.

Remember that nobody has the right to mistreat you for any reason! You must speak up for yourself! You’ll have more respect for yourself, and you’ll find that others will follow suit.

You don’t have to come off as a maniac to defend yourself. A cool, collected, and calm manner is the best way to state your case. The goal isn’t to get into a fight but to establish boundaries to let the other person know what you will and won’t tolerate.

You can be calm, gentle, and still say,
“That doesn’t sit right with me.”
“I don’t appreciate that.”
“Please don’t speak to me that way.”

Remember that you don’t have to do this alone. Seek allies who will support you as you go through this process. Doing hard things is always easier when you have people you can turn to for support, even if it’s just someone who can listen to you and empathize with your struggles.

So again I ask:
“How Much ____ Are You Willing to Tolerate?”

If so, it’s okay to start changing that—one word, one breath, one boundary at a time.