#HighlySensitivePeople #Introverts: “Are the holidays stressful for you? Here’s the truth sensitive people never say out loud”.

Are the holidays stressful for you? It doesn’t have to be if you take the time to think in a quiet place about how you want them to be.

Let me tell you something I wish someone had told me decades ago:

It’s not the holidays that overwhelm sensitive people.
It’s the rules we think we’re supposed to follow.

Rules like:
“Say yes to everything.”
“Show up, no matter how drained you are.”
“Make it magical for everyone else.”
“Pretend you’re fine.”
“Don’t make things awkward.”
“Hold it together.”
“Be grateful — you have it better than some.”

These invisible rules wear sensitive people down far more than family gatherings, cooking, or travel ever could.

Here’s the unconventional truth I’ve learned:

Holiday stress decreases dramatically when you decide which rules you’re no longer willing to obey.

For me, everything changed when I dropped these:

1. The rule that says you must participate in every tradition.

You’re allowed to retire traditions that drain you.
Just because you’ve always done it doesn’t mean you still have to.

2. The rule that says you must be the emotionally steady one.

Sensitive people often carry unspoken emotional labor.
Give yourself permission to hand that job back.

3. The rule that says your discomfort is impolite.

If something feels too loud, too long, or too chaotic—leave early.
Sensitive people notice the moment their body says “enough.”
Honor that.

4. The rule that says saying no requires explanation.

It doesn’t.
A calm, “I won’t be able to make it this year,” is complete.

5. The rule that says you must “push through.”

Pushing through is how sensitive people burn out.
Planning around your energy is how we stay sane.

And here’s something most people don’t tell you:

Holiday clarity comes from honesty, not endurance.

You don’t have to pretend to enjoy gatherings you dread.
You don’t have to stay longer than your nervous system can tolerate.
You don’t have to sacrifice three days of recovery for three hours of forced cheer.

The most transformative holiday question I ask myself now:

“What do I actually want this season to feel like?”

Not:
What will make others happy.
What’s expected?
What looks right.
What’s “normal.”

But you.
Your energy.
Your needs.
Your internal peace.

When you start there, everything else becomes easier—not because the holidays change, but because you do.

Here’s the exercise I use (much simpler than gratitude lists or journaling):

Write down:
3 things I’m willing to do this season
and
3 things I’m no longer willing to do.

This creates a boundary map—a quiet, powerful one.

Sensitive people thrive when their boundaries are clear.
We struggle when they’re vague.

A closing thought from my own experience:

I used to think holiday stress meant something was wrong with me.
Now I know it meant something inside me was asking for protection, clarity, and permission.

You can give yourself that permission today.

No guilt.
No explanation.
Just the truth.

Are the holidays stressful for you?
Which “rules” are you ready to let go of this year?

I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.

If this resonated with you, someone you care about might need it too. Don’t wait—share it with them now. A few words at the right moment can make all the difference.