What Are You Really Afraid Of?

I’m afraid of public speaking.
I’m afraid of filling out forms.
I’m afraid of taking tests, looking foolish, and being in social situations where I don’t know anyone.
And I’m especially afraid of that helpless feeling—when I sense I’m not in control.

Sound familiar?

As a highly sensitive person, fear doesn’t just whisper—it roars.
And while fear is universal, we tend to feel it with extra intensity, as if the stakes are always high.

But here’s something I’ve learned:
Most fear is not about danger—it’s about control. Or more accurately, the fear of losing it.

And that realization changed everything.

What if we stopped trying to “conquer” our fears—and instead tried to understand them?

Here’s how I push back when fear shows up:

• Filling out forms? I ask for help. (There’s no shame in that.)
• Taking tests? I prepare—but I also remind myself I don’t need to be perfect.
• Looking foolish? I remember: most people are too wrapped up in their own worries to notice.
• Social situations? I ask people about themselves. (People love to talk about themselves—it’s a great icebreaker.)
• Losing control? I breathe. I ground myself. I return to what is in my control.

Instead of asking, “What if something goes wrong?”
Try asking, “What if it doesn’t?”

Try this today: