Why do highly sensitive people tend to trust too soon in both professional and personal relationships? For me, I’ve been naive in thinking that everyone has honorable intentions. In the real world, this just isn’t true. I’ve learned that I can’t trust others until they’ve earned my trust. It’s never a good idea to reveal too much about yourself before trust has been established.
I’ve been accused of being an idealist. I try to see the best in everyone and everything. As highly sensitive people, it’s very easy for us to assume that others feel the way we do. Dishonest people aren’t good for anyone, but this is especially true for HSPs. We must make sure that we keep our distance from them.
Do you seem to be easy prey for “master manipulators?” These people enjoy taking advantage of your highly sensitive nature. They tell you all the things you want to hear and make you feel guilty for not revealing more than you want to. Don’t fall for it! Use your intuition to deal with this situation.
What are some clues of people who are trustworthy? Here are some examples:
- They treat everyone with respect. Pay attention to the way a person treats others. This is a true indicator of their character and trustworthiness.
- They don’t take more than they give. Does this person ask more from you than their willing to give? All good relationships have balance in this respect.
- Past behavior predicts future behavior. How have they treated others in the past? Do they make excuses for bad behavior?
- Are they reliable? Can you rely on what they say and do?
- Do they speak positively or negatively about others? Trustworthy people often don’t speak ill of others, or if they offer criticism, it is done in a fair, constructive manner. Beware of gossipers. If they gossip about someone else, they will gossip about you.
- Are they honest about themselves? Pay attention to what they say. Is it consistent to how they really seem to you? Listen to your gut feelings!
Are you too trusting? How can you prevent yourself from trusting the wrong people? I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.
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Hi Cliff, Oscar here! I want say thank you for being you!! I stumbled onto you last night and researched more today about your commitment to providing a wonderful resource for HSP’s like myself. I struggled immensely as a child and I remember my one year older loving sister saying to me as a teenager “don’t be such an open book around people”. I had no clue what she meant. She was my protector in a limited way more than any adult. She died at 30 with severe alcoholism. I was always there for her when she allowed me. I never had a best friend to connect with. I always received praise for figuring out many things in life. I hated praise because I did feel I deserved it! I thought everyone knew more than me. I became a sponge for knowledge but no one to share my desire to learn. Eventually I started to figure out how to negotiate for a win/win after reading “Negotiate This” by Herb Cohen. Books became my best friend. Even being around people who had knowledge, I had figured out how to connect with them to learn from them even if some of my friends would say “they are using you”. Bottom line is I stumbled across a YouTube video “Understanding an HSP” narrated by the best friend of the psychologist that coined the phrase HSP. I cried for about one and a half hour learning who I was. I’ve shared it with people who I thought I was close to only to realize they had no interest in it. I felt so lonely and used!! I don’t have a mature compassionate friend or a relative to connect with. My question to you is….do HSP’s connect well respecting each other? Thanks again!! Oscar
Hi Oscar,
I really appreciate your comments about my work! Thanks for reaching out!
I’m sorry to hear about your sister. I’m sure that you were a tremendous help to her.
Don’t be afraid to accept praise. It’s well warrented. You’re trying to help others.
I commend you for being a sponge for knowledge. That’s the best way to learn more about ourselves and others.
HSPs do connect well with others who share their interests and values. We can’t or should we try to connect with everyone!
Feel free to contact me at cliffharwin@gmail.com if you have any questions or comments.
Best Regards,
Cliff