I got many comments about my post last week, about men posing with dogs, not theirs, to attract women under false pretentious. I’ve been asked how normal and honest highly sensitive people can meet for friendships, romance, or both! Can any of you relate to this dilemma?
I’ve been out of the dating scene for many years. Next week, my wife and I will be married 42 years! I can only make an educated guess!
Well, highly sensitive people are everywhere, generally speaking, but not likely in certain venues.
If you work or attend classes or go to meetings, some of the people there would be HSPs. Your next-door neighbor could be a HSP. They may not even know they are HSPs, but they usually know they are different from other people. They don’t wear signs (it’s not advisable to call undue attention to oneself).
Two-thirds of HSPs are introverts, so tend to be more quiet and soft-spoken and keep to themselves more. HSPs tend to be more empathetic to others, notice details that others miss, are more thoughtful and discerning. Some HSPs are more extroverted and outgoing but tend to have similar sensitivities and do get overwhelmed and need to then withdraw and recharge.
You are more likely to find HSPs in libraries and bookstores, museums, art galleries, parks, nature, and groups, like Sierra Club or other environmental interest groups, etc. Less likely places are bars, sporting events, any place with crowds and noise, groups of people who are loud and abrasive.
You may need to take the initiative to get to know someone who is more introverted (someone has to take the first step). Use your intuition and empathy to spot people who are more like yourself. Go to events that you are interested in (book groups, volunteers, classes, arts/crafts, etc.). If you pay attention you will spot other possible HSPs. Like any relationship, it can take lots of time and energy to develop a good friendship with someone.
Where else can you find other HSPs? You might consider joining a Meetup Group http://www.meetup.com in your area. They have groups for any interest that you can think of.
Can you think of any other places? I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.
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I’m a sociable HSP. And even though it’s conventional for us not to like night clubs, it’s one of few places I can go where I can listen to music, won’t be judged for dancing (and even if I were, I can’t hear anyone anyway with the music tuning them out ). If I’m overwhelmed by the people, alcohol does a good job of numbing me to their attention
And if you’re in a place where a particular type of music is played or there’s a particular style of dance associated with it (Afrobeats) everyone is united on the appreciation of the art (you’d hope).
Always a bit awkward when people want to grind on me but you know what… dancing with other people would force us into synch for an enhanced and shared experience. Might be something I’m more open to in the future
I’m a sociable HSP too! Love being around people, adore a wide range of music, love dancing, socialising, I am creative, – love growing plants, have written poetry, am good with deep conversation ( even or especially ) with strangers. What else? I would love to meet with likeminded people out there. I’m in Sacramento, California. Or, does anyone have one clue how to meet others like me?